"Apocalypse and Beyond"

Imagine yourself alone in a nameless city perfectly resembling a post-war portrait. Towering rubbles and decaying bodies scattered everywhere you go; a harrowing scene that would best describe what a nightmare is. Imagine that this is real. In a blink of an eye, the world as you know it is now an ash land devoid of its flora and fauna, leaving you and other few survivors the choice to either live or die, to survive or to perish, to go on or to lose hope. The choice is yours. And with all the integrity left of your humanity amidst the harshest of all human conditions, what will you choose?

This is a hypothetical question that has been haunting me ever since I learned of Nostradamus, the Mayan prophecies, the four horsemen of Revelations, and all the events that will lead to the "end-of-the-world" phenomenon. They call it the 'Apocalypse'.

It was during my senior year in high school when the subject first tickled my imagination. I remember watching the movie Left Behind and witnessed how the "believers" of Jesus Christ suddenly vanished without a single trace, leaving the "nonbelievers" behind. Then came the biblical prophecies: the parable of ten virgins, the “rapture”, the “second coming”, the satanic 666, and the symbolical two beasts: the “beast of the sea” and the “beast of the earth”, which will turn out to be the "antichrist" couple at the end of times. I can still recall how it shook my spirituality and left me sleepless for some nights.

Fast forward to the present time, I'm still in awe on how stories from this specific genre still capture my interest. It makes me wonder about the fate that awaits our world in the future. But no matter how rich the literature is, only few fictional stories really moulded my perception about the 'Apocalypse' and the ‘life’ beyond it.

Every once in a while, a book changes how a person views his world. The Road did that to me.

It was a chance encounter. The cover shows a man hugging his child in a very dark and heart-breaking backdrop. Upon reading its back cover, I found out that the book has a post-apocalyptic theme so I grabbed it right away. Unbeknownst to me, The Road is actually Cormac McCarthy's magnum opus and was even awarded the 2007 Pulitzer Prize for Fiction and the James Tait Black Memorial Prize for Fiction in 2006. I fell in love with this heart-wrenching masterpiece not because of its 'goodness' but of the 'darkness' which deeply engulfed my imagination and left me emotionally disturbed for quite some time. I even watched its movie adaptation which stars Lord of the Ring's Viggo Mortensen and was equally surprised by its compelling power and substance.

Using a cryptic but clear style of writing uniquely of his own, McCarthy tells the story of a father and his son who has survived an unknown cataclysm that left the world shattered and almost lifeless. Bringing only a grocery cart containing all of their belongings, they took the road and started travelling towards the south with hopes of finding safe haven in the end. Their profound journey continues as they struggle to survive in a world that is now dominated by cannibalism, hunger, death, and hopelessness. And as they come face-to-face with death every day, they would learn that keeping the "fire" within them still proves to be the best way to overcome seemingly insurmountable odds and still be "human" after all.

"You remember what you want to forget and you forget what you want to remember" is the novel's battle cry which speaks for the bleak and gloomy mood that the story has to offer. It is not the 'bad dreams' that one should be worried about because that means you're still fighting, as said by the father. Pain is a key to survival. It reminds me of my fellow countrymen under extreme conditions yet still manages to survive on a daily basis. Perhaps the pain of hunger is the main catalyst why most poverty-stricken Filipinos are able to think of ways to survive or, if they’re lucky enough, come out of it and make “rags-to-riches” stories out of their own lives.

But by just reading between the lines, I fully captured what The Road intends to impart.

Our planet is a "ticking time bomb". Some scientists might say that the end is yet to come because its expiration date may still be billion years away. But times have changed and our planet's irreversible extinction may be sooner than we actually thought. Beyond the unconditional fatherly love that the book portrays is a lesson that human civilization has been struggling to learn for ages. We've been warned about the green house effect, the hole in the ozone layer, the continuous threats of the global warming, and all the man-made phenomena here and there. They are the anatomy of every natural disaster that shook the whole world. And if we don't start changing our ways, the world as we know it will gradually turn into the dark ash land just like in The Road. Who knows? It could be ten or twenty years from now.

Without a doubt, The Road is a haunting tale of survival, love, and most importantly, life. If history taught me one thing, it would be the reality that life is all about choices. I've always been fascinated about the 'Apocalypse' but to tell you the truth, it is the darkest parts of our past that thrills me the most. From the dark Holocaust of WWII to the horrendous 9/11 attacks in the U.S., all of these human tragedies have proven how futile a single human life can be once the universe conspires to take such a huge quantity of casualties. These are the ‘signs’ that we ought to take heed of and behind all these is our power to live our lives to the fullest while it’s not too late. No one really knows how much time is left for us but The Road gives us two choices: We can either take the road of creedless comfort or the road to painful survival, with our own integrity still intact. Two roads. Two destinations. The choice is ours.

Filling Up The Vacuum

There's only one word to sum up my sem break: MONOTONOUS. Once in our lives, we all experience the weakening feeling of emptiness; the vacuum phenomenon that seems to remind us that there are some aspects of our existence that need to be satisfied and filled in. Inordinate brooding, in the end, will leave us exhausted and depressed, especially if the thoughts than run inside our minds are conflicting ones. I experience this ordeal on a daily basis, especially now that I have empty times to fill in with thoughts that eventually makes me feel empty even more. Being a hermit is a status that breeds paranoia because you don't have friends to hang out with and you don't have anyone sensible to talk to but yourself. For the first few weeks that I'm confined within the four corners of our house, I just do things repetitively on a daily basis without realizing that isolation has been robbing me of energy and purpose in life. I have realized that drowning yourself with multiple downloaded movies or keeping yourself sane by sharing your thoughts on your blog won't give you any help in filling up the vacuum within you. I feel more and more empty as time goes by. I need a companion - -a person that will bring back my sanity to the place where it rightly belongs. These feelings of uneasiness also make me realize that my pen has been my loyal best friend from the get-go; that I don't want to be a nurse anymore, a frustrating revelation that makes me wonder about my life after graduation. I've always longed to write professionally; it's something that fuels me up and gives me something to look forward to. However, it clashes with the fact that my parents want me to be a doctor. I've dreamed of becoming a doctor before but like nursing, it's a vocation that I have superficial desire for. I hate myself for being so fickle-minded but no matter how I supress and deny this, it just keeps on resurfacing every now and then. I guess my life is supposed to be this way; a puzzle that keeps on changing its pieces every once in a while. I'm about to embark on my last semester as a nursing student but the emptiness within me intensifies every time I ruminate about it. I'm just keeping my fingers crossed right now because I don't have the slightest idea what lies ahead of me. I will draw my future but this time, using a pencil so it won't be permanent. While I'm writing this, you can just imagine how the vacuum keeps on creeping within me. I don't give a damn because I know that when I arrive at the right time and at the right place, I will be man enough to decide what's the best path to take. Although I hate being alone most of the time, it makes me discover things within me more than what I've expected. Have you ever felt empty? You just have to listen carefully and once you hear the faintest sound within that vacum, you might get an epiphany that could change your life forever.

Spirit Day : A Call To Stop Homophobia

It’s been decided. On October 20th, 2010, we will wear purple in honor of the 6 gay boys who committed suicide in recent weeks/months due to homophobic abuse in their homes and at their schools. Purple represents Spirit on the LGBTQ flag and that’s exactly what we’d like all of you to have with you: spirit. Please know that times will get better and that you will meet people who will love you and respect you for who you are, no matter your sexuality. Please wear purple on October 20th. Tell your friends, family, co-workers, neighbors and schools. RIP Tyler Clementi, Asher Brown, Seth Walsh, Justin Aaberg, Raymond Chase and Billy Lucas. You are loved. (Source: Manila Gay Guy).

Today is the Spirit Day. And just to make things clear, this is not an early pre-halloween celebration but a special day to mourn and ruminate the death of 6 gay boys who recently committed suicide due to the harsh ripple effect of homophobia. When will this cruelty finally take its bow and just make this world a better place? Perhaps most people don't have the slightest idea of how unfair life is for the LGBT community. Discrimination is their daily breakfast and verbal abuse is their ticket for societal tolerance most of the time. Is this the right way to condemn gays for their 'lifestyle choice'? Well, let me tell you something: being gay is not a choice. If I had my choice then maybe I already conditioned myself to be straight even before I was born. This is the reality where we live in: a idealistic society which always favors straight men over intelligent and hard-working faggots. No wonder many gays are taking their own lives nowadays because of the unfavorable environment that surrounds them. Have you experienced how to be alone in the dark while your heart is savoring the bitter taste of isolation and rejection? Maybe not, because you're not gay. But if you try to put your feet in our own shoes for just a couple of minutes, you will realize that homosexuality is more of a curse than a blessing; more of a burden than a pleasure. I've experienced depression and suicidal ideations before because of the recurring conflicts in my sexuality. Being gay is not a crime but societal norms dictate people that homosexuality is this and that. And this phenomenon only breeds one thing: inequality. It pains me a lot that gay people should die first to earn respect and love from the society. This is not the way it's supposed to be. We all deserve to love and be loved regardless of our race or sexual orientation. I hope that this day will not only awaken the LGBT about their place in society but also those straight people who are concerned about this issue. We have to spread love because it is through love that we can find the path for a better world and a better tomorrow. For the thousands of gay people who committed suicide due to the crippling effects of discrimination and homophobia, may your souls rest in peace.

"Kill Bill: The Saga"

       The battle for the RH bill is yet to meet its final conclusion. From Carlos Celdran's picketing at the Manila Cathedral to the Church's alleged threat of ex-communication against P-Noy, the public is left wondering what the next chapter will be for this seemingly endless saga of the year, aptly coined by others as the "Kill Bill" controversy. But as massive media attention continue to pour on the issue now, concerned citizens like me demands more resolutions than debates. The continuous clash of opinions between the pro-RH bill legislators and the Church is becoming more and more exhausting to watch, prompting me to wonder if all the fuss about this law really deserves the magnification made to it by the mass media. As far as its scope is concerned, I know that this law will concern Filipinos from all walks of life, but having our President ex-communicated for an issue that involves condoms and informed choices means that there is something left untouched. As I have discovered lately, the crucial issue now is not on whether we are a pro- or an anti-, but if our understanding of the arguments from the two parties concerned is enough for us to make a logical and reasonable conclusion. On my own vantage point, each side of the card reveals its own gray areas and corresponding strengths. All we need to do is to dig deeper on the issue to fully grasp what RH bill is all about and make a compromise for the conflicts that has been arising between the two opposing forces.

A woman holds a placard protesting Church opposition to the promotion of artificial birth control during a rally at the CBCP office in Manila yesterday. Courtesy of EDD GUMBAN

 

Pro-life vs. Pro-abortion?

Much of the clamour made by the bishops against the bill is largely based on the sanctity of life; they are adamant regarding their stand that the newly revised RH bill might promote abortion by intervening in the natural process of procreation. But what is the real thing about abortion? I think the problem here is our lack of concrete definition of 'abortion', which is basically the termination of life within the first 12 weeks of gestation. When does life really starts? Is it as early as conception like what the Church believes or during implantation like what majority of the medical profession are accustomed to? Obviously, there's no point about opposing the RH bill on the basis of morality if it's not clear to everybody whether it is a law for the legalization of abortion or not. Church's involvement on this matter is clearly understandable due to the moral dimensions that the bill contains. However, will it be more "pro-life" if the Church or the government just focus on the existing issues of malnutrition, homelessness, joblessness, and environmental degradation rather than searching for an elusive answer for a long-standing question?

‘Sex for Procreation’ vs. ‘Sex for Recreation’?

What bothers me the most is the fact that the two parties are arguing regarding the legalization of contraceptive use when in the first place, we already know that condoms are part of a modern man’s sex life and no one gets to jail by using it nowadays. It is completely 'legal' if you are to look at it in the context of our present society. Yes, sex is for procreation and that is how God wants it to be, but as long as people have the freedom of choice, sex for recreation will always be an option regardless if the RH bill will be passed or not. I'm not into premarital or extramarital sex but the point is, people don't need a law that will dictate them on what kind of sexual lifestyle they are supposed to have. Killing the RH bill will not promote "sex for procreation" in the same way that passing it will not promote "sex for recreation" due to the simple reason that we are humans, not puppets, entitled to have the freedom to choose what we want in our lives.

Informed choice, Population control, Gender equality: Are these for real?

RH bill is becoming more of an issue of the "right to choose" than the "right to life". According to Davao City Rep. Karlo Nograles, we don't have to legislate population management when in fact, even without it, our people have always been free to do what they think is best for their family. RH bill, as what its proponents define it, is all about giving people informed choices about the family planning methods, be it natural or artificial, that they can use to determine their desired number of children and in the long run, to control the nation's population. Consequently, the Church has been protesting against the bill’s information dissemination aspect, which they fear might impose threat to our society’s suffering morality. Again, the Church seems unaware that health teaching is already one of health professionals' integral roles long before RH bill has started to receive massive media attention and that informed choice is already being received by couples when the need arises.

When it comes to the issue of RH bill being used as a population control, its proponents seem to be missing some points. Cutting down the national population is not the "cure-for-all" solution; eradicating corruption and appropriate allocation of our national budget could be a better strategy.

What about the so-called gender equality that RH bill promises to provide, especially to women? Well, at first it may sound good but if women will have greater control over their reproductive power, then they can choose when to have a child and men can copulate with them as often as they want without fear of being pregnant. Moreover, if women are provided new roles aside from being a mother and child-bearer due to the employment opportunities that not having a child provides, it also means less hard work and stress for their husbands who have been the sole breadwinner ever since. Now, do you think RH bill will really promote gender equality in the long run?

With the issue of RH bill continuously escalating to the national consciousness, some of us are still bewildered about the real importance and relevance of this issue in our own lives. We are all concerned about the children who are going to receive the sex education and the possible changes that might happen in our culture once the bill has been passed. But we have to listen to both sides in order for us to have a clearer picture of the story. This is a national concern and it involves virtually all of us. The Church and the RH bill supporters have their own say of the issue but it doesn't mean that one should always end up being better and more influential than the other. We have a president and P-Noy is a leader for all Filipinos, not just for the Church or Catholics but also to those who have different religious ideologies. The RH bill issue reminds us all that our spirituality and morality should always take part in every major decision that we make for ourselves and our country. But as Jim Paredes underscored in one of his blog entries, the "Kill Bill" controversy makes one thing clear: there is great wisdom in the principle of the separation of Church and State.