"I am an Introvert"

If my memory serves me right, it's been two or three months now since I completely changed the name written on my blog header: from luiseestrue, which is apparently a combination of my nickname and the title of my old article in a college schoolpaper, to introvinstincts, which is introversion and instincts mixed. I still can't grasp the real reason why I did the transformation but the name concisely describes my personality and unique temperament. I believe that each and every one of us possesses a distinct quality that renders us our own individuality. As human beings, we all need socialization and the ability to communicate or mingle with others of our kind. However, having different personalities also entails different ways of socializing. We can either be introvert or extrovert, that's the rule of the thumb. Basically, we classify those who are more gregarious as extroverts while leaving those who are reserved, shy, and loners under the introversion classification. However, it's not that easy to classify yourself as either extrovert or introvert so I personally searched for an 'introversion test' on the net to back up my suspicions regarding my long-time tendencies to be alone and outside any group contact. Here's is the copy of the results that I got from a simple introversion test:

Introversion Test (Source: http://behavioural-psychology.suite101.com/article.cfm/am_i_an_introvert )

As you can see, based on this test, I'm classified as one of the 'highly introverted' individuals upon getting 21 'true' answers out of the 23 possible questions. Whether this test is accurate or not is not an issue for me already because I've long been aware that there's something different about me and it's only lately that I have proven the fact that I possess introversive qualities. I've been in a love/hate relationship with my introvert side because normally, we are expected to mingle with other people and show pakikisama to each people regardless of their social status or personality traits. But for an introvert like me, it's a different story. More often than not, I always prefer to be alone in a calm environment, not because I hate making friends or I'm bad with socializing but being with an overly boisterous and enthusiastic group of people robs me of my inner energy and I end up feeling tired and in extreme need of an ample time alone. In addition to that, I've always been labelled as 'mysterious', 'shy', 'overly reserved', and other names that other introverts like me can relate with. I have few friends, people who are the closest to me and I'm extremely comfortable with, so I'm not a 'human-hater'. It's a personal choice for me not to collect a myriad of friends because I have always believed that only few genuine friends will stick with you through thick and thin, and this is a proven fact based on my experience. People always think I'm 'mysterious' because I'm not the type who is open to everybody, so I think we should learn how to respect diversity in terms of personality. Moreover, being an introvert doesn't necessarily mean that you should be shy and not show any hint of confidence because personally, I have the confidence to speak in front of many people like those other introverts who seem to be extroverts on the outside but have the same 'introversion instincts' as I do. Being alone with myself sometimes give me inner peace but too much introversion, I must admit, sometimes give me an intense feeling of isolation, especially when I don't have any contact with my friends and I'm just alone brooding for something that makes me feel anxious. I think that's one of the downsides of being an introvert. But nothing will happen if I just hate myself and think that it could have been better had I not became an introvert. It's a total waste of energy and time. Perhaps there's a good reason why I turned out to be this way. I have more time to grow as a writer, as a human being, and understand the workings of the world around me. And at this point in time, I'm confident and glad to say that I love being myself and that 'I am an INTROVERT!'

Celebrity Atheists: Fame Without Faith

We all have something to be thankful about, regardless of our social status or situation in life. It is being grateful for our blessings that strengthens our faith towards the divine providence, who, as we believe, is the centrepiece of the universe worthy of all our praises and reverence. Surprisingly, some of the luckiest individuals ever set foot on earth doesn't believe the same notion. I was deeply flabbergasted when I came across an article about Hollywood's Top 10 Atheists, listing some of Tinseltown's famous non-believers. I don't know exactly what set of criteria the writer used to make the ranking but one thing is for sure, their names really ring a bell and have created a considerable impact in the world of show business. Here are the names who entered the list:

Celebrities Without Faith: (From left to right) Angelina Jolie, Keanu Reeves, Sir Ian McKellen, Jodie Foster
(Photo courtesy of http://current.com/entertainment/wtf/89523286_hollywoods-top-10-atheists.htm)

WOODY ALLEN: He told Reader's Digest, "If you actually have faith, if you believe that there's more to life in a positive sense, then of course it's a wonderful thing." Then he added, "I can't bring myself to do it. If I'm sitting next to a guy and he has true belief, I look at him and think, poor thing, you really are deluded".


JODIE FOSTER: She told Entertainment Weekly she's an atheist but added, "I absolutely love religions and the rituals. Even though I don't believe in God." And asked by E! Online whether she ever prays to God, she answered, "No, absolutely never." Foster says she celebrates both Christmas and Hanukkah with her children and that she only has questions so far and no answers.


BILLY JOEL: The singer publicly broached the topic early in his career, saying during an interview that he is an atheist and positing that religion is a source of many of the world's problems. Then he told Billboard magazine in 1994, "I still feel very much like an atheist in the religious aspects of things," but added, "There are spiritual planes I'm aware of that I don't know anything about and that I can't explain."

 

ANGELINA JOLIE: The actress is making Atlas Shrugged, the 1957 novel by famous Libertarian-atheist Ayn Rand, into a movie. Asked during an interview with The Onion whether God exists, Jolie said, "For the people who believe in it, I hope so. There doesn't need to be a God for me."

 BILL MAHER: Maher co-wrote and starred in Religulous, a movie which mocked all religions, especially Christianity. On Larry King Live, Maher said that "all religious people have a neurological disorder" and that religion is "insanity by consensus."

 JOHN MALKOVICH: He has called himself an atheist but rarely expounds on the matter. Malkovich once said. "I believe in people, I believe in humans, I believe in a car, but I don't believe something I have absolutely no evidence of for millennia."

 IAN MCKELLAN: Tom Hanks' co-star in The Da Vinci Code said during a press tour promoting the film, "I've often thought the Bible should have a disclaimer in the front saying, ‘This is fiction.' I mean, walking on water?" The actor, an outspoken advocate for gay rights, refers to himself as an atheist.

 KEANU REEVES: He reportedly has called himself an atheist but told journalists abroad while promoting the 2005 supernatural thriller Constantine that he is less skeptical about the concept of heaven and hell. In Constantine, Reeves plays a man whose soul has been condemned.

 CARL REINER: The Emmy-winning writer and actor best known for his work on The Dick Van Dyke Show calls himself an atheist. On occasion, he has said that "man invented God, not the other way around." He jokingly said, "There are 15 things I know about God, and one is that he is allergic to shellfish." He also complains of too many commandments. "You only need one: Do not hurt anybody."

 BRUCE WILLIS: That's right. Even Hollywood's conservatives sometimes are hostile to religion (granted, Willis' conservative credentials often are exaggerated). In 1998, he told now-defunct George magazine that organized religions "are dying forms" and that "modern religion is the end trail of modern mythology."
Source: http://current.com/entertainment/wtf/89523286_hollywoods-top-10-atheists.htm



These are just some of the glittering names in Hollywood who are self-confessed atheists. We already know that Barry Manilow,Jack Nicholson, Brad Pitt, Julianne Moore, and Daniel Radcliffe are also atheists but what is the main point I'm trying to emphasize? That religion is not really enough to answer all of humanity's questions and put direction to one's own existence. I've been very curious about atheism ever since I first encounter the word. There are some aspects of being an atheist that are both mind-boggling and mysterious like the very force and reason why these individuals turned out to be non-conformists. In the Philippine setting, all I know is that atheists are rare and can usually found in deep skirts of U.P. Most of theists classify atheism as a sign of 'unstable emotional, psychological, and spiritual well-being' but I was never satisfied with this proposition. Honestly, there are some periods in my life that I consider the possibility of being an atheist. It's the lack of sufficient answers to my questions, the continuous injustice and inequality in our society, and hypocrisy of spiritual people that usually throw me into a deep search for genuine spiritual enlightenment. Moreover, you can't mock me for telling you that ironically, some atheists are better philanthropists and human rights advocates that those hypocritical and pretentious mainstream religious people. Is being an atheist evil? More often than not, we nod as a response to this question, believing that heretics are instruments by Satan to dupe the conformists. We harshly judge them as 'condemned', 'devilish', and 'will go straight to hell', and always think that believers are always better and principled than them. As what philippineatheists.org clearly stated, "Everyone is born an atheist, since no person has ever been quite well-indoctrinated before he or she was born". Atheists' principles are rooted from logic and common sense while for us believers, we have our faith to back up our arguments. Nevertheless, we are all entitled to give our own opinions and are created as human beings who are completely free to choose what we want to do and believe in life. For me, I have only one word to give those closed-minded people who are continuously rebuking and criticizing atheists and agnostics, and that is RESPECT. No one and nothing is perfect, be it theism or atheism, and we can't force everyone to believe what we do believe . Stop our own superiority complex and demonstrate RESPECT to everyone and this world will surely become a better place.

Summer Hiatus '10

Summer has just arrived and finding a soothing haven from the scorching heat of the sun is the best way to fill in the summer hiatus. It's a good thing I decided to join my group for a 2-day trip to Batangas, the only invitation I accepted, turned down the rest because of my tight budget for the impending start of another school year. It took us 4-5 hours before getting to the nearest resort, spending the first few hours with my groupmate's family, who prepared a mouth-watering lomi, a local delicacy that is a feast to the eyes.





Lomi Batangas

  

It's a satisfying meal albeit the sauce is thicker than the ordinary lomi. After that sumptuous meal, we trekked to the beach and spent the night there with few bottles of beer and a variety of grilled dishes that were equally satisfying. Nothing's special with the resort but I was thankful that I got the chance to open up with some of my groupmates regarding my sexuality that night, which was a great relief for me because I don't want to pretend anymore with this group whom I will spend my last year as a nursing student with. It's really nice to have a break every now and then, especially in my case, where stress is a normal part of daily life. I'm looking forward for this coming schoolyear, partly for the skills/knowledge that I will learn and relearn but mostly for the new faces and friends that I will meet. I feel that I'm about to start from scratch but with God on my side, I know that I can surpass all the challenges that this new chapter of my life will offer. I still hope that there's still light at the end of the tunnel, something  that I can look forward to, something that I will care for like my new friends that I met this summer, and something that is truly worth dying for.....'til next summer!

"Shelter" (2008): Movie Pick of the Month

Just to satisfy my craving for gay-themed movies, I pulled Shelter out of my growing torrent movie collection and gave it a try. Although a bit predictable, an opinion which I share with other bloggers who already put their eyes on this film, the story and the acting are both compelling and remarkable indeed. Set in Southern California, Shelter is the story of Zack (Trevor Wright), an artist who is torn between his family responsibilities and  his dream of entering an art school to hone his skills. After his mother died, he decided to take control of his family by supporting his ill father and her sister, who is a single mom to his nephew, Cody, financially through working on low-paying jobs. But everything changed when he was reunited with his bestfriend's gay brother, Shaun (Brad Rowe), who came in to find remedy to a witer's block. As the story goes, the two protagonists developed their relationship from surfing buddies to a romantic relationship that put Zack's predicament to a different level. He have to deal not only with his domestic anxieties but also to the reality that surrounds his sexuality. Compared to Brokeback Mountain's "gay cowboy lovers", Zack and Shaun left a different kind of impression to me: sweet yet compelling story of two gay lovers who have brought the audience the perpetual value of personal choice, liberty, family, independence, love, and happiness. Furthermore, the light and relaxing backdrop of the movie allows closet gays (like me) to come into terms with reality while watching the film and eventually realize that genuine happiness can really be achieved by following our hearts' desires no matter how absurd they are in the eyes of the public. This movie has provided a 'shelter' for those confused guys like me who feel as if the world, still in the bondage of homosexual discrimination, is not the best place to come out and show our real identity. Without a doubt, this is one of the most unforgettable and inspiring pink movies I have ever watched so far. To all Trevor Wright fans out there, count me in! I couldn't get enough of Shelter until now. Perhaps this is the "aftertaste" of a good movie but Shelter is not a flawless one. However, its simplicity is what strikes me the most and that is enough to give this movie 4 out of 5 stars.