Following my "Personal Legend"

Time flies so fast. It's been a year since I left nursing school to embark on a different journey once again. I've been through a whirlpool of crazy experiences which brought out the best in me and some, surprisingly, have showed the ogre side of me. I didn't realize that being an out-of-school youth would be this hard, with all the rejections and frustrations I have experienced finding a job that I thought would divert my attention towards my unfulfilled aspirations for quite some time. But its completely different now as my return to nursing internship draws closer and closer. Indeed, time flies so fast.
            Nonetheless, I didn't reach this point by a mere walk in the park. Five months of being unemployed and alone took its toll on me and I started to become impatient, choleric, hermit, socially detached, and yes, the worst that I can ever be. Depression due to seemingly endless frustrations is my personal diagnosis for my condition. I have tried a lot of self-help books hoping that my former vigor and motivation will be replenished. But my efforts seem futile as I go back into a self-pitying, friendless, and frustrated dreamer every once in a while. I feel so sorry for my mom because she's the victim and focus of my mood swings most of the time. But what will I do? I feel so dumb for not being able to express my negative emotions positively. I feel as though no one understands my situation. God is giving me another chance to finish my last year as a nursing intern but I've been struggling to find the inspiration and the driving force that will move me forward to start anew. I envied my batchmates for not feeling the same suffering that I suffer and getting the college diploma that I'm ready to die for instead. I'm beginning to hate God for being so unfair and for the way he treats people like me who believes in their dreams. As an act of desperation to uplift my self, I purchased "The Alchemist" by Paulo Coelho, who was sugested by a former classmate who wants me back to nursing school. So far, I've been gradually starting to get the pieces of myself back into place because of this book that is more of a parable rather than a novel but has a parallel power and conviction as the latter. I will post a book review for this one as soon as I digest all of its contents. But one thing is for sure: the book is a material sent by God telling me to follow my "Personal Legend" (from "The Alchemist") and not quit from dreaming. Perhaps all the things that I've been through are simple tests by God and all the responses I've made are due to natural depression but do not abrogate the fact that dreams do come true no matter how hard the path leading to it. As a human being, I'm gonna take baby steps towards my complete recovery and hopefully, after a year of waiting, I can finally reap the fruits of my labor because as they say, time flies so fast.