Gaining Weight, Gaining Hate

To put it in a less complex way, gaining weight makes me choleric. A one-pound increase won't harm perhaps but having a considerable increase in my vital stats definitely needs more attention from my part. About 5 or 6 months ago, my waistline measurement normally ranged between 34" to 35" inches but it was only recently that I discovered a palpable evidence that adipose tissues are starting to eat up my figure: a waistline of a whooping 39 inches!! At first, the "weight gain" issue didn't bother me, considering the remaining month before the next school year that I'm free to spend for trimming down fats and gaining back my former figure. In the first place, I was not used to aerobic exercises and healthy diet regimens even when I had my former "healthy" figure, so to speak, so being conscious for this change would be unreasonable. However, every time I face myself in the mirror, I've been reminded of my forgotten ideology, a set of principles I have set for myself. Gaining weight, for me, is a real sign of sedentary lifestyle and complete lack of productivity. Having said that, I feel so much frustration every time I remember what really caused this long hibernation that bestowed upon me the bittersweet gift of weight gain. I've been unemployed for 3 months now, still undergoing medication therapy for my mild PTB and has been left behind without any choice at all. On a personal and psychological perspective, eating has been my own way to suppress my negative feelings of isolation and pessimism during these past few months. I know how to pray but sometimes my faith and a bunch of downloaded movies are not enough to decimate my boredom and insecurities. As a result, I have gained so much weight that has brought adoration and fascination to my family and those former friends and classmates that haven't seen me for quite a long time, much to my disappointment. In fact, a former classmate of mine threw a blunt comment upon seeing my recent picture which apparently shows the big change that has occurred on my physical appearance. "You said you have gained weight but I never realized that you have gained such an enormous amount of weight, much more than what I expected", she said to me with sheer astonishment. It makes me wonder why everyone seem surprised while I'm still here existing, pondering, and feeling that nothing has really changed. They don't have an inkling regarding the mental maelstrom that I've been through. And being a future health practitioner that is supposed to advocate for healthier life choices, this "weight gain" issue seems to give me a double blow. On the other hand, I'm pretty positive that after a month of meditation and complete exploration of self-help/inspiring books, I can get myself back on track. It will not be easy for me but being aware that I have my own share of self-discipline, making myself back into good shape will possibly be a walk in the park for me. But I admit that getting into a serious exercise regimen will be a lot more taxing for me who is not used to even stretching my legs and arms every morning. And for the diet side, I will not employ such techniques like Atkins or South Beach just for the sake of becoming thin. I will still enjoy my eating habits, but in serious moderation. With these in my mind, I'm sure that I will be able to achieve a healthier figure before going back to school and this "weight issue" will soon be a myth.