Confessions from an O.S.Y.

Hibernating. That's the gerund that best describes my lifestyle right now. I prefer using that label rather than 'unemployed' or 'couch potato'- - they're just too painful to hear for me. And besides, even though I'm currently on a temporary vacation, I'm not idling and wasting my time for nothing. Given the fact that I was terminated from my previous call center job, currently taking medications for my 6 months of PTB treatment, and waiting for my contract as an online features writer,I still do have the penchant to make my life as productive as possible. Aside from blogging, I always see to it that I have my own share of household chores to make my mom's life less miserable. Well, the truth of the matter is I find my life as an O.S.Y. (unemployed and sick out-of-school youth) miserable more often than not. Perhaps because I lose my bread and butter but that's not exactly the case. I'm sick already of the terrible lifestyle I was able to experience first hand in the call center. During my first few months on the production floor, my biological clock literally turned upside down and I had learned how to make starbucks coffee as my best pal for the first time. I was able to tolerate those as expected but the incovenience I got from not having much time to spend with my friends and family, and the danger of travelling via a passenger jeep/bus during the earliest hours of the morning are just too much for me. Ironically, there is a part of me that is grateful for what happened because I will have now the time to spend Christmas with my family. So obviously, my unemployment status is not the thing that puts me down. I could blame it on my hair, the changes I've witnessed in my facial skin because of stress and pollution or to our EVER-RELIABLE broadband connection (I'm getting sarcastic if you don't get it). I'm planning to switch my ISP next week because globe tattoo is just too much for me to handle. Everytime I surf the internet, it will be a miracle if I won't experience any drop in the connection. God! I do blogging everyday but it takes longer that it should to connect or upload because of GLOBE'S unreliable and stupid connection. I'm using prepaid service but I don't think the type of my subscription or the area where I'm at have something to do with the quality of service that I'm currently receiving. Their technical support representatives are equally dumb in providing instructions in fixing my issue. I mean, I worked as a tech support rep for 6 months and I didn't let my clients to experience the same inconvenience over and over again. I'm really frustrated with the service and I will switch to other company as soon as possible (I hope someone from Globe will get to read this). Perhaps this is the major factor why I'm not enjoying my vacation but personally, this is just the tip of the iceberg. I'm totally frustrated because after almost 6 years in college, I still don't have the much coveted diploma and hasn't experienced yet the thrill of marching into that stage to get the thing. I've been in and out of school during that period because of financial reasons and this coming school year, whether I like it or not, I'll be returning back to school to finish what I've left. Maybe this could be my final year. I'm hoping and praying to God that after so many years, I finally can take my final steps in college. It's excruciating to see my batchmates going abroad or reaping the early fruits of their jobs while I'm still here, waiting for next year to return back to college, still the same guy that hasn't prove anything in life yet. But I'm still hoping and dreaming that someday I can be what I'm destined to be.

When Doctors become Nurses and When Nurses become Doctors

This is a complicated world, indeed. As complicated as the mind-boggling dilemma I'm facing right now. Three months from now, I'll be back to nursing school to complete some unfinished business. One year is left of me to finish my degree and I will make a major decision soon after my graduation (if God will allow me to): whether to pursue my nursing career or advance to med school. Undoubtedly, I will risk being ridiculed by most of my relatives if I pursue my childhood dream of becoming a doctor. In addition to that, I will spend most of my life being a social retarded inside the med school the moment I decide to grab that option. I'm about to start my NMAT review next week but I'm still undecided if I will take the exam to pursue the medical career or just to prove something for myself. I have been thinking that if I will not get a scholarship from any med school, I'll better leave the dream in the oblivion considering many factors that are halting me to take a step forward in the med school. It all started way back 2005 when the mass exodus of Pinoy doctors who made a career shift to nursing robbed the profession of medicine its usual glitter. I read one of the articles about it just recently, entitled When Pinoy doctors become US nurses. It tackled a lot about the still ongoing decline of college students' interests in pursuing the medical profession. I thought I was all alone in my struggle but when I read one of the very inspiring articles of my co-blogger, Aubrey, who is facing the same dilemma as I am, the glitter came back. Through her article entitled When doctors become nurses , I have realized that a lot of nursing graduates and students alike still consider pursuing the medical career as one of their options. I just wonder why the world is like this: Doctors turning to nurses and nurses wanting to be doctors. Perhaps this is what we call a battle between convenience and principle. No matter what explanation you can give, I still don't get this phenomenon. But what's important for me is I have my very supportive family who's always there in spite of doubts and worries to support me in my every endeavours. Maybe I will just wait and see how will I fare in the upcoming NMAT. I will ask guidance from God who knows everything that is best for me. Through that, I will surely know if I have to turn from a nurse to a doctor or stay as a nurse for as long as I can take.

Drugs me to Hell!

Its not just a simple frustration. Its a series of frustrations that reached its crescendo just recently. I was terminated from my call center job in Makati last month, the reason why I immediately turned to the jobseekers' safe haven (jobstreet) to look for a job. I submitted my modified resume to every call center company(medical transcription company included) available in the web, desperate to have a replacement job because I couldn't imagine myself jobless on the holiday season. After a couple of days, I received a call from Convergys and then I undergone the normal screening procedures soon afterwards. I passed all the company's standards for communication (which I already expected given the fact that I already had the experience) but when the nurse handed me the medical exam results, I staggered to what I just saw in my x-ray findings. The information printed is very clear: PTB in upper right lung field. Of course I'm not dumb to consider this as not threatening because even an average person without as much medical knowledge as I have knows what that means: Pulmonary Tuberculosis or TB as we all know. I composed myself for a moment. Frustrated as I was, I make-believed that I still had the power to bribe a doctor somewhere to give me a fit-to-work clearance although I had a strong gut-feeling that this was not going to be a walk in the park for me. True enough, I didn't find any doctor that was gullible enough to believe my frail theory that this finding was a big mistake. All of them attributed the diagnosis from the pollution , environment, and stress that I had acquired during my first call center exposure aggravated by the fact that I had to travel from bocaue all the way to Makati and vice versa to report in my job.For this reason, I have to suffer 6 months of medication therapy that will start this month and will end by May next year. And the best news of all is I won't have have a job. Even though I was accepted as an online writer (I'm still waiting for the company's confirmation), I would admit that this is not a well-paying job. Luckily, I received free medications from a health center so my family will not be burdened by this but I still don't have enough reasons to feel lucky in my situation. Perhaps God wants me to have a rest and realize that life is not all about money-making. Perhaps He just wants me to have an opportunity to do soul-searching. Perhaps, yes. Perhaps, no. I really don't know. But the medication regimen that consists of (1)Rifampicin, (1)Isoniazid, (3) Pyrazinamide, (2) Ethambutol, and (1) Ascorbic Acid daily is taking its toll on me. Now I know why DOH requires directly observed treatment for TB patients. Its really difficult to stick to the regimen and take the specific quantity on a daily basis. Its ironic that I have a nursing background but I'm applying it not on caring other people but on treating this stupid disease that I consider like a bane gradually destroying my own existence. On a positive note, the disease is letting me contemplate on my real priorities in life. Right now, I'm considering my plan of taking up Medicine one year after finishing my nursing course. Maybe this is another stupid decision but this is my dream and I will not let this lifetime pass without it turning into reality. I will start to review for NMAT maybe next week once I receive my money. I'm pretty positive about my decision of taking the NMAT this coming April before the start of next school year. Maybe there is still something great waiting for me. I'm quite optimistic about that.I'll wait and see. 'Til next time......